When Sex Was Good

When the relationship was new, being apart was intolerable, telephone conversations lasted hours and all thoughts concerned the next time they would be together.  Thoughts anticipating their next meeting fill the waking hours and their dreams at night.  Passion brightened the day and illuminated the night.  Love making was urgent and filled with a longing which could only be experienced.  Everything was fun when together and inadequate when apart.  Focused on each other the activity was secondary, simply a vehicle to express the joy of the relationship.  But as time passed the relationship matured and the activity became primary demoting the relationship to second place or lower.  Now their discussion concerning what to do focuses more on the activity than being together and conflict casts a painful shadow over their togetherness.  She feels ignored and second place to his interests which do not include her.  He wants more time with his buddies and feels confined.  Love making is decreasing in frequency and becoming less passionate and more routine.

What happened to the passion which brought them together?  Passion is a feeling produced by erotic hormones which come unbidden and leave without warning.  It requires the sense of adventure and the conquest of a new relationship, whereas love is a commitment to another which is fulfilled with the best that is in us no matter how we feel or what we want at any given time.  Love is action saturated with an attitude born of commitment and expressed in loyalty and respect.  Love, expressed with devotion and the skill developed from intimate knowledge of the other, produces a passion which is renewed throughout the life of the relationship.  If passion in your relationship has diminished and conflict has increased, help is available.      Dr. Orville E. Easterly

Copyright 2011 – Dr. Orville E. Easterly All Rights Reserved – Do not copy.

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